No Feeling…

No Feeling…

I heard no feeling is also a kind of feeling. I feel nothing ever since I came back from Kampar to Penang. Holiday to me suppose to be fun and restart my engine, refresh all my tools and my mind and enjoy the company of my family. However, I felt nothing, it just some familiar faces, the intimate strangers. I said I have an unknown in me again, I feel there is something missing within the time we spend together. Something is missing and I am now full of fear, the fear of the unknown. Same old fear comes to me again when I last spoke of “the fear of the unknowns” [a] last May 2009.

I am a road idiot (路痴), though I am Penang people yet don’t know Penang’s place. I am not familiar to all the directions and streets of where to go. I denied some of my friend’s visit and wanted me to join along in their tour so to have a guide you know. I am fearful of guiding a trip without knowing direction, better to say I better don’t lead and tell the truth that I don’t know the way. Whatever, thank God I found another fear that I wanted to overcome. I had been fearless for a long time that is why I did not attain more wisdom. God say: “fear God is wisdom.” So I guess His right. It is good to be fearful sometimes and pick up the fight with it like batman. Good thing is that the first thing came into my mind is how to overcome fear rather escaping it. I am happy. You are OK, I am OK.

Happy fighting and let’s not take away your smile.