Unexpectedly Resourceful

Unbelievable, unpredictable, and undeniable that God is so resourceful! It has been the third time God spare me from shower of rain, I can see clearly that the clouds were cut into halves and rained both sides of the region of kampar but not in new town. Yesterday was rushing too, although the rain tail hit us but not severe, it was totally miracle! I was filled with a feeling that I am so protected by him like he is an unbrella to me. But sadly I still have Him dissapointed of me, because I keep sinning, I mean the sin of omission. Well I do really ignore His command sometimes, and it was intensify these couple of days. How can I fix it if my heart is unwilling? >.< Sometimes I even does sin of commission. I recall the day when God reminded me about Exodus 20, the ten commandments, and day by day I getting more and more pride and complacency... how may I help myself in this situation? God I need you to change my mind, if not one day I did not willing to change, I will not change at all, I must desire to change to be more like Christ.  It seems like I am saturated already, it was a mistake to let my spirit at rest that day, now I really ready to fall, because when my spirit rest, the devil action take place in me. Whenever I turn to my own ways, that is the time when devil attack me.

Why I did not have the feeling to commit to God right now? Did not God has protected me from so many thing? Why I do not looks like I care about my relationship with God anymore? Why suddenly all turned upside down? Or do I too busy with my own will on doing all the assignments then neglected the spiritual living? For what I know this is spiritual dryness... but I confess I did not take action to feed my spirit recently, already counted today is day 5, how could I starve my spirit to death still slothing away not to feed him? Sorry I have to write it all out that comes into my mind so that I can see clearly here rather than putting everything in the cognitive level that everything is abstract. I really want to invite all brothers and sisters that visits here to pray for me, at first I thought is was something wrong with my time management and task management only, but now I see the deeper problem I am facing, that is my attitude start to turning back to it's auto-pilot direction, I have to change the program, change my thoughts and attitude, so that I may change my course to move closy with God. I needed this in order to grow more mature, or else eventually I dries up and wither...

But undeniable that God is so resourceful even that He has made me resourceful in my studies and also plenty of friends to help up each others. For even now I started to take charge to make a spark in the engine of my assignment groups so that everyone is get moving. I hope that all the draft work can be done before we come back from CNY. I was waiting someone to take the lead especially the appointed group leaders... I couldn't wait... I don't know what happen to me recently, I think it is good to be impatient of getting everyone work ealier, than being too kind for the sloth to take over. "Sloth" I mention here is not refer to anyone, but the attitude in us. I admit I have a sloth in me too, can't you see how it effects my spiritual life now? Well come back to my studies, I believe God give not only to me the resources to learn effectively, but to all my classmates too, thank God that we have some coaches in our accademic life than those "living textbooks" (I am talking about the lecturers) No, I did not expect them to spoon feed me, but fortunately that they didn't, because I wanted to take the challenge for real. God had give so many thing so I just wanted to thank Him now, though I am still feeling guilty of my sins.

"JEHOVAH JIRER - GOD THE PROVIDER"

"BUT DO NOT LET THE SLOTH TO TAKE YOU OVER;

THY SPIRIT SHALL NOT REST IN THE WORLD;

BUT IN GOD YOUR SPIRIT SHALL REST."