The time never rest... so am I, unfortunately it wasn't came out what was expected. We expected that we could have a little bit more ease after the strings of activity about Jan Boom and after the Chinese New Year. I too expected that it would be a refreshing period of time to regain the mode of study and persuing all the way in the acedemic life but it did not turn out like that. All I do think is deadlines of every matters, I have overwhelmed by my business and fail to seek God. I am not quite sure about what is happening in my spiritual life? Have I not turn away from sin and getting out from temptations? But why my spirit is in such driness? Have not God always be with me? Why for now He seems like he is letting all challenges, for me to handle on my own completely? What more can I do, other than to seek God's help to face all these challenges?
Sometimes God did not turn you loose from your chains and lead you out from the jail by his angels, but He did use you abbundantly in your chains. I don't know why I am saying this, sounds like I had been chained... I am not Paul, and I am certainly not chained by prosecution, but I chained myself with all the burdens that hindered me from walking on God's directed path. I know God want me to learn, and all of this has already been filtered by God so that it is possible for me to overcome it. This morning I as what is worship? Isn't worship a heart of submission? Isn't it means a surrendered heart? My heart is troubled with all the obstacles in life and it might has to be the devil's work therefore even while I wanted to worship God druing my devotion, I can't feel God's present and not even have the mood while playing song for God. Therefore I have told my friends that I roboticalized.
Pray for me brothers and sisters, I needed your help for I can't stand alone with these great challenges, and especially you God, I needed you. I know my heart is troubled yet because of your coaching in my life I have grown tender in spirit and waited in patient though I am suffering in my very own sword. I know you never forsake me and always ready to help when I ask for it, I also understand sometimes you did not aid because you wanted me to learn something out of it. Then so be it God, may your will be done. My mind is still a little bit confused but I seek the wisdom from you God, please hear me.
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." - Ephisians 5: 15-17
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