I am a melancholy

Loooooooooooooooooooong time I did not write here. And for a long time I have not hear from you my friends, how suffer am I when I have eyes but can not see have ears but can not hear.

This morning as I wake up I saw my fellow brothers sleeping soundly and I know they are resting calmly. And I had a moment of devotion but my thoughts keeps on swaying away and makes me unable to concentrate on my prayers. However the Lord did not hesitate of telling me that I need the thoughts of His so I was thinking that I wanted to please someone this morning as I gone for breakfast after frustrated of staying at home reading some boring textbooks. I go out and the Lord told me to "TAPAO" for someone and I was thinking of getting some breakfast for Vri and I think He is teaching me not to just show my love to an opposite sex friend, so Vri did not reply my message. However I decided to call up Isaac and I bought him a "排骨面" greeted good morning and left. I was happy and a little anxious about what is going to happen next because this is the first time I really make a bigger move in giving. And the Lord tell me, be ready for disappointment. Ah, yes, I am disappointed but I was still happy because I did not self-condemnation nor complaint a sentence. Why disappointed because I was expecting Isaac not to return me anything, but Isaac say he will treat me the next time. Sounds silly right because why turn someone down when they have something to give us. Well finally I finish one chapter of Life Span Development text for the examination is 30 days away. Thank God.

That is morning.

After I bath, I just realized that I make someone waited as I forgot to tell Vri that she need not fetch me to school today. Sorry for the trouble. But I realize that we have a lot of differences but we have one common ground which we are melancholy. This is what I can conclude after deciding to continue to listen to her blogs so I can know more about her. I think as a friend I do need to give her my pairs of ears, listening her story and communicate with total empathy. Well as I pursue on my Internet search I read on some Christian articles on melancholic characters in the bible. I was motivated by what Moses and John the baptist and John the apostle and lastly David are melancholic yet a great servant of the Lord. I see the styles of their fall and the victory they had. All is because of God we won, when we are skeptical and overly critical we blind ourselves into our own perception and standards. This risk ourselves in falling into devil's trap and that we lose because of ourselves. We are intimate enemies of ourselves, that is what an old saying: "You are the worst enemy of yourself."

We have to be totally broken just like the bottle of alment oil. When it was not broken the fragrance will not be pour out and our lives is as dull as our perception of life and death on this world. Our vision is clear when we finally understand that we should only use the sight of our Lord. We can percieve things wrongly on our own, even the greatest sciences is just a guess, but our God's wisdom is absolute. Why not just view things on God's perception rather than ours? You choose.