Something must have stumble Thomas...

The answer is no. It is not stumbling, but simply is the craziness become reality... I just wanna to be myself that is all. I know, I am a violent person, use rude words, and blame God. I hated myself so much because of Him. Leaving God is not an option but left me no choice to continue to hate myself. Although He taught me not to condemn myself and He say He wasn't going to condemn me anyway but real change is not there. I just don't see it. I waited 2 years spending submissively and obediently follow what He taugh me seems like not effective at all. Yet I discover the trueself in me is a total darkness and evil. What I teach always is about how evil decieve people yet did not abide to what the devil's scheme are cause it was too scary and unholy.

There is no middle road, cause without going in God's path is dead end.

I don't know what I am saying now but... either way, I am hanging in between good and bad. I'm tired figthing for the Good and I am still the enemy of the bad... I don't know where I stand now. When I am thinking back, did I not doing very well in follow God's command so I fall away? But I had tried my best not to, yet it proves helpless when I fail to prepare the soil for the rain to pour in... Then He don't even border those who are weak that can't prepare the field for the rain. How? It wasn't foolist that they weak don't want the blessing, but since the illustration give birth the this decietful thought that we must do our best in order to get God's favor then only He blesses.

I don't know this is simply a bad logic I could think of right now...

Correct me please. I know I am wrong, but this is what I see... It is true God only favor those who are strong enough to hold His command. It always has been. Favoritism... also is what I find in God... that is why I jealous of others... Looks like Darwin's natural selection has won the debate in this statement when it comes to strongest lives and weak hell they go.

The Grudge

I still know what you did last summer...

and I still know the number 23 start to haunts you.

NUMBERS 32:23

BEWARE YOUR SIN WILL SEEK YOU OUT?

232323232323232323232323233232323232332

I don't have to pretend I've got it all together... when I don't

I don't have to pretend my best relationship deeply satisfies... when it doesn't

I don't have to pretend my struggle with sin is a thing of the past... when it isn't

I don't have to say much...

Sin waiting at the door all the time,

sometimes it comes in grudging me.

Sin entangled me when other people take it as their own.

Indulgence... what have you make me?

I'm envious! I jealous you people who do things freely.

Where I am bounded by stricken rules,

where you all see me stubborn because following them.

Is fleeing from sin solve the problem?

Not always the case... I had understand it wrongly

when he runs away naked when his cloth was taken off by a whore.

This new year is a year of conquerors.

It is time to face the root of all sins.

The INNER-SELF

Open up the door and let it in seems like a route to death.

It was like when God came down to Adam while

he realised he was naked.

No.

Why not take up the courage to admit?

RIDE OUT OF DOOR!

FACE IT!

Else I just kept myself in the room of comfort and indulgence.

The room is a short lived space of safety,

but

Sin is like fire burning outside the room.

Soon it will burns everything else and you

will be lacking of air and the whole

building collapse with you in it.

Face it, or die.

Treasure Hunting

In the beginning of a new year, everyone is busy with planning and new year resolution. The focus is to do something even better than the year before. As it has been foretold Asian countries will rise in both power and economy. Many great leaders and developers had their eyes set on this golden opportunity to collect as much benefits in this golden age. There is no mistake I been in this town called Kampar in chinese "金宝" the first character read as Jin (gold) and Bao (treasure), this town is going to blow and as well as the land surrounding it such as Gopeng. Perak is such a wonderful state to develop. I wanted to call this land a land of oppotunity. After hearing comments from so many friends I was convinced to stay here and invest myself for God in Gopeng and Kampar.

However I will still seek for guidance from God see where He wants me to be, else I will not have His favor on me. That will do me no good at all. In this new year, it is a real start for a real change. For me it's new commitment and new responsibility. I am going to become better man, God wanted to best for me, why not myself explore what best I can give?

Now starting today in order to clear of all my chains and hindrances, I must have a very special kind of change. This change from the inside out is what I called a treasure. For the pass year I failed to fully commence what I have planned to do. But this year will not be the same again. I will hunt down this treasure and I will spread the HOPE of changing ourselves into better us rather than an ideal self we made to strife on. To know ourselves more and have a true identity of our own, that is to know what the creator has created in us. How? Through having a relationship with God and read His words (Bible).

This year I am going commence a few projects first I will help in reconstructing the Hope Kampar BGR model with a team, while doing some research on making the study more accurate and valid. In due time I will create some other tests and surveys for my church and assess to the people's needs, personality, behavioural patterns, life style, source of motivation, defense mechanism and a lot more. Next after validate all these studies and was given to the people and collect datas, I will discuss with my leaders about how to cope better in every different individuals. One of my suggestion is to best to know the pattern of sinful behaviors. Then with much encouragement and motivation, we will heal the person.

Great ideas right? I love to do raphah ministry, it brings healing to people and assisting one another to be the best for God, simply God wants the best of us because He has created us more than what we think we are! - of course for the purpose of God.

This my passion for you my dearest friends, though my way of relating to people may be a little cool. But my heart is always warm to welcome you in and I will help you with all I have.

Regards,

Thomas Choo

Project Barnabas

What if? - 23

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he doesn't listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

- Matthew 18:15-17(ESV) -

I and the whole house wanted to help you, brother. If we aren't changed by Christ, you would have been dismembered by us. How foolish is one who have no self-control over his behavior. But by the mercy God showed to me I'll show it to you. Here I wanted to say to you this:" For he think in his heart, so is he. As one who reckons, he says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you [but is grudging the cost]. (Proverbs 23:7)"

Whenever it came to a number 23rd. I don't like the number to be sound. Because I wanted to tell you too in Numbers 32:23 says: "beware your sin will seek you out!" I think it is finding its way to devour you already brother. We are here for you before the consequences of your hurt brings you much more trouble. If you are also thinking about sex and lust every 23rd second in your mind. You are likely to hurt the relationship you have with the Lord. You lived 23 years now. The day after December 2nd (2/12 >>> 2, 1+2 = 23) I felt you are all different. I thought you are getting better and well. But the next day I saw something you shouldn't have do it, but I witnessed it with my own eyes. Scary isn't? If you use your life to buy all the knowledge just to make yourself seems better outside but what is happening inside, what about the relationship with GOD? In proverbs 23:23 says: "Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding." Next he says: "The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him." Do you make him glad?

I don't like to play with numbers but it finds it's way to explain things to me. I hope you better watch out. Do you know a proud man is just like the blind who walked as if they see things? It is not by faith, but a pure human strenght lived in denial of his flaws. No man is worthy and Godly man doesn't call himself Godly because Godly man is humble. If you haven't notice this message is send to you the 23rd hour of a day.

Project Barnabas

This project is dedicated to bring back motivation and guidance to people who are losing it. I am looking forward to make this project a much more interesting and attractive activity. It is still developing, but the minimal thing is to encourage one person (best is the one you are not very close with in your Church) a time through anyway you may reach that person, you may call him/her up, sms, email them, personally talk to them. But before you do, personally pray for the person and ask God what He is going to talk to the person you are going to encourage.

I see that our church is getting bigger and I am happy to see that. But some of us see a problem in our church did not find a solution for it yet give up and left. So I am starting to do this to enhance the UNITY among our church. To understand one another deep down. I recalled once the Japanese taught me, when a person crossing blades to one another, they will know another person deep down. The purpose of all their strikes, their motives, to protect or to uphold honour. So in here I must encourage you readers, no one knows each other deep down until they are all facing conflicts, troubles, whether in the same boat or not. But as we Christians are called to be in one body of Christ, so we must build the unity and when conflicts and resentment comes, we face together instead of blaming one another.

Another idea here was, when the time it is most discourage, we felt emptiness, and hopelessness, it is the time where we are most encouraged and felt with passion and dreams. First things is that God called us to be salt and light of this world, many may not understand. But this is my understanding, no matter what bad things happened in our Church or in any relationships. We restore what is broken and what was stolen, how? I was thinking if I could encourage another person when I felt most desperate out of a bad situation, I have no more reason to be defeated by emotions, by pessimism and a lie. It was just all mere obstacles. The word I choose is "HATE OF GIVING UP". Give up living for ourselves but not give up living for God. I learn something called, "counter attack" when something bad bounce to you, you bounce the ball back with hope, peace and love. That is the image we as Christians should have. Bad things comes, evil plans comes, we bounce back restoration of lost and regenerate the seed of hope, because God has given us these. If we did not show it out, how the world convince that our God is one true God that bring us salvation and peace?

Let us be joint, starting from today, it doesn't matter if you felt guilty because you sinned against God. I've sinned, everybody sinned. But we all lived under God's grace. Why not put aside that bad feeling and start feeling good for Christ so that we are fill with energy to work possitively and productively for Christ?

If you give up, lest you die!

This is what I drew using Adobe Illustrator CS3 and adding the words by Microsoft Power Point, 07. When different program works together give great results so as well as people, Together Everyone Achieves More right?



We are not going to talk about TEAM here. But I wanted to ask you whether you heard a word of wisdom that tells you to tied a knot when your rope runs out? Else you will fall from the cliffs and die.

Just now I was having a great devotion time with my housemate talking for about an hour on do not give up! This is also something the Lord always tells us too as we can see in Luke 18:1-5, the persistence of the widow Jesus describe of. Well I tell you guys if you give up on your faith when the end comes I don't know what will happen to you? In Matthew 25:1-13 the parable of the ten virgins you can read as I put it here easier for you...

"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. "At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ "Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’ 'No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’ "But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, 'open the door for us!’ But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’ Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour. "

If you give up on God, I don't think he is being funny while he says those words you read just now. So for those of you who have already frustrated and forgotten why you have accepted Christ the very day, you still have a chance to recommit your faith for the end is near yet His grace is sufficient. I do not know what will happen the minute and next, so if you guys are reading this please re-think again your relationship with God! Or you have friends who stumbled and had turned away from God please encourage them to hold on to the cross they once taken up! I know being Christian is not easy, it is the most stupid things to people but I tell you it is only path to walk through. We have not come this far to die now don't we? Where was the fire once in you burning up for Christ? Where is the spirit once you had to serve the LORD? If you have doubt please clear it now I CHALLENGE YOU! DARE TO QUESTION GOD if you really dare!

We don't have whole life to indulge ourselves in self-protection and selfishness! Where is your love once you had?

Matthew 16:24-28

Then Jesus told his desciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

Journey to the Mind

It was a long time I hadn't visited what was behind the crust of my skulls. Today I just wanted share with everyone here who are still following my boring slow updating blogs on the topic about thinking. I am good at critical thinking, wasn't it? The answer is: "I don't really care" What matters most is how the thinking really make oneself survive for a true living purpose.

It seems that I had lost my ability to see things like I do previously. Is it good or bad? When was it? That I have fully give in to a new style of being laid back and give a surprise attack just like what Captain Kyoraku did in the bleach story.  But I see good things in what I did right now, not showing how much capability of myself to others just to gain advantage to help other people. In the same time protecting myself of giving in too much and others can’t complaint of what I can do and what I can’t. Looks like this is a very good skill too of being laid back and concealing the true power I posses. No one can predict what I am capable of is on a good hand however, what truly did not utilize was my skill on becoming pragmatic enough.  I saw my comrade recovering from exhausted overuse of her ability on to many things and blinded by her busyness. I couldn’t lose even one second of my gaze on my enemy’s stance, but my eyes had deceived me. I thought I had been wise, but how foolish is one who thinks he is wiser.

The longer I walked on the Journey with Jesus, the more flaw I found myself out! The more weakness and painful things which I had tried to escape as though I had already overcome it. The real things are, it has never came back of what I had defeated because of Jesus, what came back from within the brain the unconscious part of me is the part which has not solved and has not fully solved. I realise the weakness of being a human, after all I don't recognize my own boasting, my sins and my pride. My vision blurred as well as the heart of discerning between what is righteous and what is wicked. As I travelled into deeply within my mind I found out that I wasn't with Christ anymore although I live like a Christian. I think the part I conceal had also make a fake faith in front of people. As I think it through this is real hypocrites. The mark of the beast 666 could be just a symbol, forehead symbolized our thoughts and hands symbolized work. If hadn't realize what I was thinking and doing, I could be fooled by the devil. Be strong is to had a tremendous understanding of God's word, nothing else. All effort to defense and protect oneself is all a sin, you know why? Because as we protect ourselves we are still in charge of our own salvation and transformation in Christ, not God who work in us. As we rule out God in just a second in our lives, we sinned.

The thoughts I had also is useless unless it has the truth in it and had a foundation. Lest the thought would become a trap for ourselves. Enbracing the values we could slot it in to our identity that sum us up. When came to introduction everyone will tell at least a little about who they really are and that is the value they found to fit themselves most. The identity may not be the real identity at all. This is true when I really thought being laid back is a good thing, but it was still a comfort zone where I can withdraw quickly when things goes wrong. Not a chance of facing the goliath like David had faced. My protection is build up by laid back attitudes, a mask that deceives others about who I am. Why was it so hard to tell people I was in a mess because having no identity at all? Or shall I put it this way? The true identity only can be found in Christ alone because He created us and know us more than we know ourselves. Why is it so hard to confess that the only way to find our true identity is to follow Christ and bear the cross?

God has always told me do not fear, but I was lack of direction because I don't even know what I am fearing. Thank God I has this moment of thought, to digest down the word spoken prophetically to me. The fear of not letting go of my self-protecting behavior - that is something more directive. Now I understand why God wanted to restore prophets into this world again, because people and churches are blinded and lack of sense of direction. Everything has become a habit, lest our words and doings become a cliché. The end is near, live like Christ is gonna come back to get His bride tomorrow! His bride resembles the church, do we really do enough or at least biblically building up a church.

Parent, friends and churchmates. They all may persecute one another too, they may persecute me of being too religious and neglect my daily living which cares about education, successful careers, able to earn a living, food and clothings, houses, cars, luxuries, have heirs to take care of their burial ceremony and more... From dust I came and to dust I shall return, I came with nothing I shall leave with nothing. I TELL YOU, I am not being religious, is just that I know something that has to be true which all had turned away or even gave up and forgotten. Have you forget what is your reason of accepting Christ? Or did you not know what a real Christian is? What left with us is the relationship with God.