It is clear

There is much more things revealed in a shine of the light. The shadows in us uncovers, all the shame, fleshly desires, hidden truth, and the ugly truth is written all over our faces and bodies. There is much truth that we can't deny, but to accept the true nature as what we are created here for. What I am trying to say here is that everyone has their fleshly desires, which Abraham Maslow pioneered his hierarchy of needs. The needs for food, drink, fresh air, and suitable temperature in an environment. These are the physiological needs, and we are to have the desire to get it only to survive. Second level is the needs of safety, finding a shelter, bunker up ourselves from danger, and settle down in a peaceful environment. Without meeting up these needs, we are not going any futher to the next level of needs that is love and belongingness. Because of this need, I started a lot of thinking, do I really satisfied with this to get along towards self-actualization? Logically I did, I have lovely brothers and sisters in a church and a lot more friends outside in the campus, and lovely family that is increasingly intimate, most of all I have a loving Father who was and is in the heaven. Logically, I satisfy my needs in here, but there is still something missing.

Maybe I shouldn't use Maslow's theory on this one. Practically to explain these I should us the psychosexual theory by Frued. I am sometimes striving for sex and it is no good to me. All is in the wrong timing, wrong place and wrong motive. For some extend I will hate myself sometimes for not having self-control, but the Lord teaches us not to do self-condemnation. Am I sex seeking or love seeking? Lust and love they are not the same! And this is the truth. But one horrible truth is that man are created to be sexually active type, so I have to apologize here to all the girls, please tolerate the people who are doing something provoking these sex topic. I urge you sisters to understand the brothers that the inner nature somehow is like a monster, a sex machine, brothers suffers to control this behaviour so that the sisters are not stumble by the brothers. Please I urge you all to understand our situation.

I made an inference that women are created to control man's sexual behaviour, and man are made to give woman security and protection in a family. Or in other words, woman are more like woman when they know more about man, and man become more like man when they know more about women. I am not saying all these in sexual activity context, but it was about the sexual energy between gender. If you still can't get my concept you can refer to the old chinese teaching of ying and yang. The passive and active energy of life. Without sex human can't reproduce, without love human won't live.

Much confusion the devil has twisted into our mind, I am disappointed to see my dirtiness as so common among the people around my age. While I am doing my dedication on fund raising to sell cookies all around the hostles, what I find out is the responses that most of the students give. The first expression they give is that they talk about their BGR (Boy Girl Relationship) status, what cames across their minds are to give the gift to their boy or girlfriend. What about other friends that are around? What about the lecturer and tutors that you all appreciated about? Where are they in your mind? I was deeply pierce into my heart that I also do has the same mentality as they. I grieved in sorrow while I read about 1 corinthians chapter 7, that the truth is we are not necessary to get marry. Among my culture, marraige is one of the biggest event in each human lives ，“终生大事”. Once I despair towards my mother that I don't wanted to get marry, and wouldn't put an eye on a girl. Sometimes I hated girls for they are such seducing naturally, and I hated that I lost my mind into dirtiness. Why am I such a weakling that guard so lose of my own mind?

I am sick recently, maybe because I am sick, my body is weak, and so do my mind. I think the devil is start to plot attack against me again while I am in this desperate moment. I was tempted all the while to satisfy me fleshly desires for sex, computer games, slothing all the way, glutony, and folly act. I am not trying to be a perfectionist here, I was just to put myself living on the tension of maturity.(Warren, 2002) These are for some explaination why we are fasting, I do not know truely what is the meaning of fasting, but one thing I know is that fasting is to give away our rights, give away (not give up) our fleshly desires and feeds on the word of God which is our spiritual food. Man doesn't live on bread alone, they need love and all other physiological needs. See through it, I am sure I am transforming into something I couldn't imagine, but I am sure I am a bit more learning to be like Christ. Pray for my sickness and my spiritual growth. May all the Love, Joy and the peace of the Lord be with you all always. Amen.

Tune up my EQ

Today's morning devotion I suddenly turn to this booklet while I wanted to read the bible (it is inside my bible's cover) and I finally realize how prideful I am while I attending this workshop during the 14th MNC 2009 at PICC. Well I heard in me, this is not for the day while I am in MNC, I finally understand that God actually meant this booklet for me to read today. I read it, and I saw the different thing that I once learn during the workshop and now. Really I wanted to admit, when I having pride, I can't learn more because I saturated myself in the things that I thought I already know.

The first thing I recover back is what is the differences of these three classes of emotion, that is Holy, Human and also Fleshly emotions. The goal in every human life is to move closer and closer toward the image of Christ (Ideal self), I was challenge that time, because I still think God has a certain level of envy, but in fact that God has nothing that is not ideal, if God is not perfect then how can He made Himself a standard for us to strive to? So just believe God is all holy and that is the ideal figure that we all are moving towards. Human emotion is not evil, but it is base on the situation we are facing, such as stress, isolation, desperation, pain, fear, sad and etc. But on the other hand the fleshly emotion is evil, it was all born from sin and it become an illusion to us that this is our true nature and that some people explained human are evil.

There is an distinction made between human efforts and with the help of the Holy Spirit. Remember the fruits of the holy spirit? Galatian 5:22-23 NIV "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." When we really humble down ourselves and that is when you are truly welcomed the Holy Spirit to work in you, and you will be blessed by all these fruits, these fruits are not breeds from human efforts but the help of the Holy Spirit. With all the emotions that afflicted in me, I couldn't tell what it is recently, and I describe my emotion as null feeling. This explained when I realize that I worked everything on my own and get desolated and say where is God? I tried to put everything up right and I keep on asking why, try to find out reasons and solution on my own, and I am stressed and desperated. I had struggled with emotions these past few days, but thank God he bring me back today. A lot of time it wasn't God withdrawn His presence from us, but it was us who withdrawn from Him, that we often try our old ways to solve problem, and that is trying all the best on our own without letting the Spirit of God to help us. We don't need to worry wether or not we can control our emotion because when you let the Holy Spirit to work in you, one of the fruit is self-control, technically by human efforts, it is futile against our self-discipline, because we are overwhelmed by our habits and character, that we must need the Holy Spirit's help to change the undesired behaviour and cognition and affection. Now I understand God is the greatest counsellor. There is no need a human counsellor when everyone knows how to let God had fully worked in us. By no accident in my devotion bible reading I had come across Romans 5: 3-5, it has a very similar thing I saw from Frank Outlaw's formation of our character and destiny.

I will explain here, the Joy in suffering related to the time while you having a distressed moment, it start with your thinking and your very own believe system about that matter. You had an amount of stressful emotion in you and you try to use words to explain your thought out. If the interpretation is wrong in this step and often by human effort it is wrong so breed a wrong action. In here endurance is the action and made it a habit if possible. This endurance made possible when we let God work in us, because of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Endurance is an action! Once you made endurance your habit it become your character also, that you have sucessfully bring God into your life that breeds hope in you and that is the destiny you will find.

Thank you God for this wonderful wisdom and knowledge. I will pray that I will humble down myself and have a heart of worship always, that I may rest in God's help. For I know that on my own efforts often get me into traps and foolishness, but in God I am wise. Amen.

"DO NOT FIGHT SIN ON YOUR OWN, PLEASE.

LET GOD HELP YOU."

Memory - Notice or Ignore?

Memory - Notice or ignore?


Technically mind is what brain does, so where does our memory stores? Funny to know that our brain is so powerful yet it has its own blocking system to make us aware of certain thing and neglect other selected impulses. In psychology we studied that the brain has a tendency to do sensitization and habituation, which use to explain the thing we choose to notice and ignore. Example, like while you’re preparing your music scores in a silent room, you will hear the clock ticking or even the sound of the movement of the fan. But slowly when you focus your thoughts to write on the music sheets, your mind starts to ignore those impulses, and your mind will be obsessed by the music you’re thinking to write. Our mind is choosy isn’t it? In the Weber’s law also talk about this, we human can sense an impulse if it reach certain intensity and they called it the threshold. Weber was right, but I wanted to challenge that we can control our thoughts and thus, we can choose consciously to notice something that we use to sense. I got an argument that sometimes when we do like that we will have certain amount of expectation of the things we choose to notice and sometimes we even interpret it wrongly. This makes imaginary senses that don’t exist, and people say this has a tendency of having illusion and hallucination, psychological disorder like schizophrenia and so on. Did you notice that when you start focusing on something, you wouldn’t be able to sense the things other than what your thoughts are focusing on? Since we can’t focus on many things in the same time so can we change our focus fast enough to cope with that? I think so, but it hasn’t come out with a very good outcome. When you study and listening to music, you can either knowing what you are reading and listen to some unknown sounds playing or you can only hears and think about the music and you can keep on reading aloud without understanding what you are reading.

Share your thoughts here: or email me

Delta38thomas@hotmail.com

Futher updates and findings will be dicuss later on. I am going to make this another topic in my blogs. Happy reading = )