Wasn't that Sweet

What the hell, all the sudden was like a moment of dispair. I wanted to be strong so I could lead, I wanted to be strong and wise so I wouldn't lead the whole team astray. Now it was like everyone closes their eyes and no one is going to help in this situation, because all the work we do can said to be also wrong... I don't buy it, I don't do things I do not understand that is my biggest weakness, who can show me the way? How could I be so lame not to search for alternatives and solutions? What more can I do to help in this hour?

I hate to tell everyone I am emotional again because of this sudden pressure that after handle in a report and someone just told me that our report have BIG PROBLEM!!! What is that? I still do not know, I don't understand why so I just wanted to meet with Dr Siah and I pray to God that he may be in office today so that we can consult him what problem was it. Unfortunately it doesn't seems like God is answering that prayer. But I didn't doubt God didn't help, but I am still struck in fear of what should I do because now was like wanting me to revert something that I do not know where the error is... God help me please if you were there and I know you are there! Show me the way so that my friends will not get dissapointed because the indifference of we Chirstians to them. I hate to say this but we are such a bunch of lame Christian that live in foolishness and not a very good testimony...

When things doesn't goes right wasn't that sweet right? It was more than bitter we can feel. But I still believe God's grace is more than what we feel. I still believe he can help me... Please show me the way Lord, when will you do so? Else my whole team is likely walking into their doom!

I am sorry to be so concern of my study because I know it was just a little tiny things in your kingdom but it was a big piece for me and my team now. I know my judgement on this statement is wrong... but I am very confuse now...

It wasn't that sweet after all... and I hate to admit I am defeated easily when the storm come. I hated it...