Have you ever heard a word saying the enemy of my enemy is my friend? And have you ever heard another saying "Your closest friend is your worst enemy." My dear Thomas, what a nightmare you dreamed last time emerge again, just like the tooth fairy in bed time story that haunted your soul until you are already a grown up? The fear strucks and my skin freeze, not a muscle in my limb moves. I was stunted. The ghost from the past is still haunting me now. My most fearful enemy is myself, the ghost I've always fear to solve its riddle has come back to urge me give answer to it. The fear of being watch and critique. The fear of not doing it right then next sounds of laughter and the tongue of malice disgust me. The fear stops me from getting what I need. I needed growth, I needed to learn how to cope with my leadership skill problem. I needed to learn how to manage people and task well. In the process I needed a monitor, a watchman to coach me but I fear being watch. Still why am I so hang up onto my own perfectionism?
A surface relationship doesn't hurt you much as they don't mean so much to you. The most hurt is when it is afflicted in a deeper relationship. As I always feared that when I associate other people I feared leading them. I always or rather being led type, though I am full of thoughts and observant but not as observant as when I leading something. Why does these 2 things doesn't come together? Be very observant while leading. If led some organization that the people I not really know them, when it fails it hurts but very little and the organization disperse. No further relationship build. But not this time, I am leading my own kin. The people whom I call them family, and not just any family but the family of Christ. There is no room for me to fear now, no space for resentment, no turn around but going forward. Because I know God is giving this opportunity for me to learn how face the haunting ghost in me. The riddle couldn't be easy to solve but it can be solve, it takes experiences and time to learn it and acquire it.
Indeed fear is my enemy and become avoidance to face problem also is my enemy, but fear is the enemy of my enemy then fear is my friend. It is signal for me turn on the brain towards growth. Thanks for that creation.
##*10月23日*## -- 其实没有那么丧
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时间是有去无回的东西,我们都知道。
只是我们每一次都还是会忍不住感叹而已。
有点像是无声的抱怨,但是却又非常无奈,无可奈何。
有时候每天都在问自己,一天又过去了,但我又做了什么?
每天努力的活着,是因为自己没有没有什么目标吗?好像也不完全没有梦想啊!但是总是在偌大的世界里被淹没。难道就是因为这样,我们宁愿越...
4 weeks ago
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